Above is a photo of me with Santa! I was approximately the same age as my kids now. We were told that he exist, so we told our kids that he exist to continue the tradition. (that is if one can call this silly notion a ‘tradition’). I can’t remember when I found out that this is just a fantasy….or how I felt way back then.
My little boy age 7 wrote to Santa yesterday. He asked for a ticket on a Cruise Ship to sail to the Caribbean Islands. A tall order! He also told me that he made a wish upon a star, but that he cannot tell me…oh boy – never has he kept anything secret from me, until now, because of Santa… and this mother doesn’t know if she can handle it!
This morning before school he told me that one of his friends said that there is no such thing as Santa and that one’s parents put the presents under the tree. I answered him with a question asking him how he would feel if that is true…and he replied: “Sad”. So obviously I didn’t have the heart to break the news to him….just yet.
Why oh why did we start this lie! And how are we going to rectify it – because now dear friends we might lose a very important aspect in any relationship: trust.
(at this point I must also inform you that our kids also believe in the tooth-fairy: although we call it the ‘tandmuis’ in Afrikaans, the easter bunny and that dragons exist!)
If you have any advice, please feel free to share!
hannalie taute 
Interestingly, even after they disbelieved my kids played along with the fantasy for a few years. I guess they didn’t want to upset us! But my older daughter told me later that she had known for a long time…
Thank you Method two madness! Your comment makes me feel so much better! Wondering how and when your older daughter started ‘knowing’? Maybe I should worry less and just go with the flow and keep on “playing” along.
I can ask her but I’m not sure she’ll remember…I think we worry about our children’s fragile psyches a bit too much. They are much wiser than we think.
Yes indeed…I fear that they are not so ‘fragile’ after all. Maybe its time to let go of the desire of keeping them little or not wanting them to be ‘grown-up’ so soon. If we are lucky we have memory to play tricks on us.
Keep ut the good work I’d say – LIE for as long as you can get away with it! They’ll love you after the truth – I hope.
I guess, sooner or later they will start questioning everything we tell them anyway right? (this sounds awful!) It is rather comforting to believe in stuff that makes reality a little less bearable some days, so yes, hopefully after the truth they will still love me- I really I do hope so too Petru Viljoen!
This brings back memories of the same dilemma with my kids! They’re now in their late twenties and early thirties and have forgiven me for telling them little lies along the way to make life more fun and fantastical (to get them to eat slightly bruised pineapple slices, I invented ‘tiger pineapples’, which they never questioned until much later). If I remember correctly, when they started badgering me about whether the Easter bunny, father Christmas and the tooth fairy existed or not, I said I used to believe that they do, but not any more, and that they were welcome to believe in them if they wanted to, if they liked the idea. A cop-out, maybe, but it worked. My granddaughter, now 10, was raised within the Montessori system where no fantasy play is encouraged, but decided she wants to believe in all the above, even though she knows it’s not real. 🙂
“Tiger pineapples!” I love that! We call broccoli: ‘elephant trees’, and so they eat them- no problemo! I also love the way you sound sincere when you mention that you used to believe but not any more, and then give them a choice to believe or not! I don’t see it as a cop-out – thank you so much for sharing your experience! .