While I’m typing this the song from ABBA goes through my head…..
I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I’m officially too old for one of my dreams to come true. I have failed. Now I must try and cope with that.
When I left art school, I had a 5 year plan to win the ABSA l Atelier competition. (Perceived as one of the most prestigious art awards in South Africa.) I have heard other artists say that only after they won this competition, collectors started to collect their work. So it’s been more than 10 years after art school and today I heard that not even one of my two entries did make it to the top 100. (The only time my work did was in 2004.) So I am left wondering if my work has gone down-hill from then?
Looking now at the two pieces I can think of a lot of excuses, eg: I shouldn’t have rushed it or it should have been more focused, or I should have made the rubber chain super long that it formed a mountain inside the cage ect. ect. But that would not change anything. (A lot of should-haves)
Later this year I am turning 36 and won’t be allowed to enter again since you have to be 35 and younger. Thus if I want to go to Paris (which is one of the prizes) I have to try and save money to go there by myself, since it wont happen through ABSA.
Last year sometime I found the following excerpt on Keri Smith’s blog: see here
7. “Pay no attention to the man behind that curtain.” Ignore what other people are doing. It has no bearing on your existence or vision of the world. The times we feel the most discouraged are usually due to the fact we are comparing ourselves to others. Most times reading awards annuals, and industry mags only serves to make us feel inadequate. Try cutting it out entirely. Designer Bruce Mau recommends not entering awards competitions. His reasoning, “Just don’t do it, it’s not good for you.”
I liked nr 7, but I didn’t listen. I will keep on dreaming.