parenthood

“And, as in uffish thought he stood,

The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,

Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,

And burbled as it came!”

-Lewis Carroll, 1872

from the poem titled Jabberwocky, which is currently my son Stephan’s favourite poem, especially when his dad reads it to him with a Scotttish accent.

He sees monsters everywhere detail

Initially my eldest son, inspired this work, because he used to see ‘monsters’ everywhere. He is quite tall for his age, thus looks older than he is, and he doesn’t like sleeping. He is also blessed with a vivid imagination.

I am constantly amazed how two children from the same household can be so different from each other. Where Etienne is sensitive and fearful, his brother Stephan fierce and a handful. I say this in the most loving and respectful way. I love them both in every-way.

He sees monsters everywhere 2016

I received this quote in a letter from a dear friend:

“….Speak to us of Children.

And he said:

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday……….

I know it well….its from “The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran.

I wasn’t an easy teenager. My parents didn’t believe in ‘time-out’ – they believed in a good spanking.

The last time I received a hiding was when I was 17. My dad caught me smoking. After the hiding I ran away, and left the above quote in a letter. When they found me I got a hiding for running away and for the letter I left. That quote didn’t fit in their belief as parents. “Children should be seen and not heard” was what they believed in.

Today I am a parent and I hope to remember these words above which made an impact on me then as they make now. I also secretly hope that my children will be ‘easier’ teenagers than I was- or maybe I will be an ‘easier’ parent.

embroidery on rubber

Orde: Lepidoptera – Pouoë, Emperor moths

“Dit is interessant dat die soorte wat sleg smaak, normaalweg heelwat langer leef as die gekamoefleerde soorte nadat hulle klaar eiers gelê het. Die rede is ooglopend. Die ou wyfies, wat sleg smaak, beskerm die jong wyfies deurdat van die ou wyfies opgeoffer word om voëls te leer om hulle soort te vermy. Die wyfies wat hulle agtergrond naboots, moet weer na eierlegging gou doodgaan om te voorkom dat vyande aanleer om hulle kamoeflering uit te ken.” (from the book: Ons eie insekte)

It’s hard to unlearn the things one has been taught by your parents. Sometimes sacrifice is needed. It is easy to give children your love, but it is so hard not to try and give them your thoughts…..